XIUHAN!
ADEN!
NP BIT!
BASKETBALL!
MAHJONG!
FRIENDS!
FAMILY!

Monday, October 12 { 6:36 PM }

Maybe I USED to be someone who can win a game.

It just ain't the same anymore.

Monday, September 21 { 10:57 PM }

Tuesday, September 15 { 12:03 AM }

Sunday, September 6 { 2:11 PM }

Feels completely like a Crap player.

Saturday, September 5 { 2:11 PM }

First real competitive match since my surgeries. ALthough I know I'm not in shape yet, I'm still gonna try to do good. Hopefully I can stay healthy!

Monday, August 24 { 11:54 PM }

Sunday, August 9 { 2:38 PM }

3 more days before going back to camp. I really have got no idea how I'm gonna cope with life back in TAB. I guess I will need plenty of adjustments on my lifestyle. I'll have to start waking up early at 6. I had been sleeping almost everyday at 6 nowadays man. And also, I really dono how it'll be like for the both of us, cause we'd been meeting daily almost late in the night, and I guess that we'll have to stop or cut down when i return to camp. I do have to utmost confidence in you though, for the things you'd shown you're willing to do for this r/s. I really thank you for that. :)

Saturday, August 8 { 3:57 AM }

I'm happy I've got you. More than happy actually. :)

Tuesday, July 21 { 5:04 PM }

I had never felt a stronger bond with my friends before. I came to realise how important friends are, not just one or 2, but all my friends.

It started off when I met this friend on mine, we started talking about all shits. No really just chatting bout nothings, but more about life and so on. I guess because he's more senior than me, and that he'd seen this world much much more than me, he actually put a stronghold in me on the value of friends.

I know I'm currently in quite a dire state, and I'm happy enough my friends are around to stick through times like this with me. I'm sure friends do feel neglected at times, that during different circumstances some friends werent asked to join in the group for specific outings and so on. I really do hope they can understand they are just as essential as all buddies of mine, just that perhaps we do have different interests and therefore, certain things I do I dont ask them along.

This brings me to another point, I realised I cant be with someone who can't accept my friends. I dont want to end up in the state whereby I have to deceive just to meet my friends. And this is to you, I know how much you're giong through, how much you trying to prove a point, but look ahead, how things will be like if we get back, you really think it will work out? You can say you will try to accept, and if you can't? Dont you have to go through all these shits again? I've always said this, its difficult for one to change, and if one really managed to change, will the one still be happy?

Wednesday, July 8 { 12:37 AM }

After sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, updating again.

Well life practically isnt all that plain sailing all these while, had a pretty ugly break up, having a tough time finding my feet back on court, have been staying up and out, haven't been spending all that much time at home too.

I ain't one who talks about r/s stuff on my blog all that much, thus i'll stick to it. Just, I hope it can be resolved soon.

About basketball, I had my 2nd surgery 2 months back, trying to play again. Good thing there are still people who wants me, but I dono, its just not the same anymore, or not yet. Just hope things can get better in this aspect.

had been spending more time with friends and mates, kinda fun, but when my MC ends I guess i'll have to cut down on late nights.

Thats about it for a brief update. More to come..

Friday, March 13 { 1:09 PM }

I CONCEDE DEFEAT. IN EVERY FUCKING ASPECT OF LIFE. GOD DAMN IT.

Saturday, January 17 { 9:43 AM }

So, after 2 weeks absence Im back blogging again!

These 2 weeks had been pretty tough for me, cause I went back to camp after Mc-ed for 3.5 months. It wasnt all that easy to adjust back to waking up early and going back into military life again. Luckily for me though, the people back in my squadron are generally nice and didn't really give me much trouble or problems. You know there's always this fear that they might tekan me since I'd been out on MC for so long. Hopefully I can blend in better with them real soon. :)

Other than that, havent been doing much. Knee hasn't been getting any much stronger. Had been struggling a bit with my fitness. Pretty much excited about playing in wai wei sai with my group of friends. Which means I will stop going back to TW, at least for now. :)

That should be all, next post will be rather soon enough.

Wednesday, December 31 { 10:39 AM }

2008 had been a topsy turvy year for me. Many things happened, both good and bad.

Start of the year, things were going pretty well. Had minutes on court with Tong WHye, played in my 2nd NBL Division 1 but 1st time with TW. Sadly though, ruptured my right knee ligaments and meniscus. Still, it was an honour to play with this team.

Enlisted into army in April. BMT wasnt all that fun to me, was struggling with my knee at the same time. Got to know a very nice friend though. Afterwhich was posted to Air Force School. Life there was damn good. Then posted to Tengah Airbase.

Undergone surgery to my right knee in September. This period of time is one of the worst. Can't even move about let alone step out of home for the first 3 weeks. Was quite depressed after that.

Well, I made some new friends this year. Got closer to guys like Prasad, Gou Gou and Yew Seng. GOod thing still in close contact with Val and gang.

Started clubbing after my surgery. Can say its pretty fun but it gets quite boring at times.

SO yeah, this probably sums up my 2008.

Hope 2009 will be way better.

Happy New Year everyone.

Thursday, December 25 { 6:33 PM }

Recently I caught 3 movie. Yes Man, IP Man and Bedtime stories. I will say the best being Yes Man, followed by IP Man and then Bedtime stories. Jim Carrey is really good in Yes Man. The fighting in IP man was really eye-catching too. Bedtime stories is quite a disappointment. Highly anticipated but it turned out just so-so. SO yeah, if you're deciding on which movie to watch, I'll highly recomment Yes Man.

Went for TOng WHye's meeting this morning. ALmost everyone from this year's NBL team list were there. Agenda for the meeting was to address several issues regarding players, coach, attendance and some other stuff. Its quite weird for me to be there frankly, because I know I cant play for them coming year. WHen the committee guy asked why I never attend training, I wanted to say cause I'm injured but they just voiced out cause I'm in the army. So yeah, so be it. To be honest, I kinda miss training, playing and going overseas with this team. :)

Monday, December 15 { 11:13 AM }

Sunday, December 7 { 3:59 AM }

Today was pretty good. Went to quite a lot of places. Yew Seng came over to fetch me in his New Honda City. Actually he's really someone i look up to, being a nice guy and also successful in his career to be able to own his own at the tender age of 23.

Anyway, Yew Seng, Tracy, Qixian and I went to queenstown to eat before heading to Taka in search of Carmen's bday present. Gou Gou joined us shortly after. We bought a Coach purse for her,and then headed to Pasir Ris Farmway for her bash. It was a pretty cool place, sorta a pet hotel, but they have abandoned and stray dogs there as well. It was nice also to see Carmen and caught up with her a bit. Had a lot of fun there with Gou Gou's stupid mistakes and actions. Haha

After a while we decided to head over to Taman Jurong Partyworld. Sorta to kill time and also to send Gou Gou home as he has to work the next day. After singing, we went to PS for BOLT. I will say its over-rated by the papers, but still, it was a pretty good show. Then Yew Seng was nice to send me home! haha

Thats it man, Im dead beat, probably gonna ball a bit tml or just gonna rest and chill. :)

Sunday, November 30 { 12:27 PM }

Monday, November 24 { 11:07 PM }

I wanted to update over the weekend when I went out with my buddies. Lots of videos and pictures to show for, will update once I get those stuff.

Had been playing ball, or should I say shooting and walking around bball courts, the feeling of being driven past and unable to elevate for rebounds sucked to the core.

Tuesday, November 18 { 9:52 PM }

As many of you know, I had always wanted to be a teacher. But recently, I'm having second thoughts about whether thats the path I want to take. One of the main reasons why I want to teach is because I like to motivate. The other reason being that it allows me to stay in touch with basketball, with coaching or being the teacher in charge. However, I'm having second thoughts because if I'm gonna teach, I will want to take up a degree before applying for NIE. And if thats the case, I will have to take up a degree in probably English & Literature. Which means that I will have no 2nd option, as it'll be difficult for me to get another job other than teaching with that cert.

Which leaves me with my Plan B. Banking and finance. This is a field that I'm not that familiar with but roughly I know what its about as I have several friends in this line of work. I'm not that much interested in sales as its not my forte, more interested in posts like personal banker. However, due to the recent recession, it seems like its kinda unstable and by the time I'm ready to work, I dont know if they are still gonna hire new employees. Last month DBS retrenched 600 in Singapore. Today's news, Citigroup is gonna retrench 50,000 employees worldwide.

Although its still 1 year plus before Im out of army, its still kinda bothering, as I'm still unsure about my future due to all these factors. Even if I'm gonna start studying, I'm gonna pay the fees myself, or loan from my parents first. Having said that, I think people from rich family have a head start when it comes to this. Cause they have their family's backing financially, whether in terms of studying or business. Only with studies will you be able to get a better job, and getting into Uni they don't have to worry about the fees. This is life, and I know I have to work for it.

Anyway, update on my knee. I think the doc didnt really operate properly on it. Cause after 7 weeks, its starting to hurt more than before. Or is it because I havent been resting enough? If its so, then its damn shitty because I cannot take it anymore, I have to move around. Haha I'm supposed to start slow jogging in 2 weeks time, but I'd alraedy started shooting ball. Boredom man.

Met up with Xiao 4 today. Its been so long since we met up, as in just the 2 of us. We had Mac breakfast then to Cdans swimming pool then to Jurong for lunch and settle some CPF thingy. Just returned from Bball at CCKCC.

Had been sleeping and waking up early lately, other than the nights that I went clubbing, which is like once a week now. Haha, so yeah I'm turning in soon, goodnight.

Oh BTW, I don't bemoan not having a rich family, cause I have the best parents and siblings around. :)

Saturday, November 8 { 9:32 AM }

Finally I got my hands on bball. Havent touched it for months already. Ytd went down to CCKCC to shootaround. Still cant move around just like before the ops. Still, it felt good to be shooting and in the court again. :)

Had been meeting up with 1 old friend, Daniel, lately. Daniel, Val and I were one of the closest back in the secondary school days. We lost contact after that I think because Dan stopped playing basketball. Its nice to be meeting up again.

Meeting Dog for lunch and maybe movie and maybe basketball later before meeting Val and gang at night. But recently get tired easily at night cause had been sleeping like 11 and waking up at 7 for the past few days. Haha, hopefully today will be a great day!

Ciao

Thursday, October 30 { 4:06 PM }

I'm tired...

Tired of having to do rehab, to have to keep my body in shape when Im in fact so static.
Tired of having to start all over again, and again.

I dont want time to pass too quickly, yet it seems to be crawling.

Wednesday, October 22 { 12:50 PM }

Finally........... I got to go to the POOL! Was awake watching Man Utd last night till this morning 5am, went to bed and woke up at 7am to prepare to go CDANS. My dad drove me there and I reached bout 815am. Then they told me the pool will only be usable at 9am, so I had to wait.

In the end, it was quite worth the wait. The sun was pretty strong, afterwhich I managed to work out a bit in the pool, doing some exercises to strengthen my knee. Can sorta feel that it is still damn weak, it hurts after a while in the pool. Wonder how long more its gonna take man.

Heard that officers from my camp are gonna pay me a visit soon. Makes me think twice before going out. So I guess this week Im not gonna go out unnecessarily during "peak period".

That should be it, gonna have a ball of a time later at night, I hope. :D

Tuesday, October 21 { 10:58 AM }

I wanted to tan and walk in the water in the morning. According to my doctor, its good to do that. Build up the strength in my knee. Woke up at 7, the weather looked great, i checked the papers, it stated showers over west area. Not convinced, I went online to check. Light showers in Choa Chu Kang and Batok (wanted to tan and work out in Cdans), expected from 8am - 11am. Still unconvinced as the sun was still glaring by 8am, I called and checked for the weather. It said shower with thunderstorm expected over West area. SO fine, I stayed home and did some exercises till now, 11am. THE SUN IS STILL AS STRONG AS IT WAS AT 8AM LA!

This goes to show, dont trust the weather report in Singapore.

Monday, October 20 { 7:37 PM }

2 more days to 1 month after my surgery. Time flies I must say. Recovery so far so good. Have been going for physio and will continue because I wanna be strong again! It feels good for a start to be able to walk without crutches again! :)

And believe it or not, I went quite a few places last week! First I went UE Square and Raffles place with Val, Alan Pang and some other guys. Purpose of the trip is to get donut for 1 of Val's friend, if you get what I mean. haha. I went to CCKCC to watch them play bball as well. Motivation! haha.
Then i went suntanning and walking in water, followed by....................... CLUBBING! whao, the first time i club for the purpose of CLUBBING! The only time I went was Pathman's bday. Thiss time round we went Powerhouse. The music kinda sucked la, then we moved to boilers, where all the fun began! haha shan't elaborate more, but just, it was pretty nice towards the end with the music. :)
Sadly though, my knee was all swollen after clubbing, quite bad that I couldnt really get to sleep even though I was dead tired. BUT, that didnt stop me from going out again....

On saturday, went town with Val, Prasad and Qixiang, and met Xiao 4 and huilin there. Hanged around town for a while then went home. Sunday morning went to aunt's place for Lei Cha, afternoon met Gou Gou for partyworld! Haven seen him and the rest of the group like YS and Quan for 1 month plus man. haha

SO now its monday, I'm so not used to staying at home. hahaha. can't wait to go out again, and yeah, club again! :) hahaha

Monday, September 29 { 10:58 AM }

Surgery is no fun. Pain on my body is much more unbearable than the pain on my knee. I think its probably due to the anasthetic which I was given twice. I woke up towards the end of the surgery and they shot in more. Haha, I told them I was a light sleeper!

Feeling much better lately. First 2 days after surgery was hell. Needed help to given get up from bed. Terrible. But lately quite okay already. Cant wait to get out into the sun again. haha

I'll be back on court in no time!

Wednesday, September 24 { 5:29 AM }

Less than 4 more hours I will undergo my first surgery to reconstruct my ACL and repair my meniscus on my right knee! ALL THE BEST!

Saturday, September 13 { 3:38 PM }

Update Update!

For those who are interested, my knee surgery date is confirmed! Its sooner than expected(although it had already been held back for quite some time). Its on the 24th September. Which is like next wednesday!

I heard bout how painful it can get. But i chose the stronger treatment whereby they have to chip off part of the bone near the knee to retrieve some patella and use it as my ligament. At the same time they have to repair my meniscus as well. WHEW! I'll be doing my right knee first, so all the best to me!

:D

Sunday, September 7 { 6:44 PM }

Xiao Jiu Jiu! It was him who first introduced me to basketball and taught me how to play!

This gift for me erm, 3rd birthday!

Sunday, August 3 { 4:51 PM }

Saturday, August 2 { 12:27 AM }

I had lots of free time this week in camp. It was mostly revision for our final exam. I studied and got it over and done with.

Show, Luo Zhi Xiang or Xiao Zhu. Taiwan celebrity. 2 things that make him stand out from the rest are his willingness to work towards success and how much he value his family. According to his book, when he started off, he was always despised, for having no talent, cannot sing, cannot talk, and quite ah beng. All negatives, no positives. But he worked on them, practiced harder than anyone else in the band he used to be in, and today, he's the only known star in that band. From a rubbish(which was what his boss called him initially), to what the media deemed now as asia's king of dance, it is kinda remarkable.

Gaining stardom did not stop him from loving his family. In fact, he showered them with more love and concern. Initially, when he had no shows to host or to appear in, he borrowed money from his friends for his parents, just so they wont find out that he's not doing well in his job. He did not want his parents to worry, and he went to the extent of borrowing his "pay". He had his first on-sale concert scheduled few days after his dad passed on, he left a seat for his dad, and during the finale, he sang a song called "Strength". He cried his heart out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGvIqeLkuNI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HDPIyOhiX4

He did not give up on what he dreamt of, and he worked so hard towards it regardless of the obstacles that hindered his progress. He suffered a severe blow when he lost his dad, he pushed on, to let his dad know he made it, and took greater care of his mum. To that, I respect him.

The 2nd guy might be lesser known. I've been a supported and follower of s league since I was in Primary School. Had always supported SAFFC. Recently, to my delight, they resigned a player, whom I thought was the most talented player in singapore in my era.

Ahmad Latiff Khamaruddin. Once touted as Singapore "Golden Boy" to succeed Fandi Ahmad. Now, Singapore's "Bad Boy". Unlike show, Ahmad Latiff's career is just the opposite. When he started out in the SLeague, he was a very promising youngter. But his temperament was a question and he frequently got into fights or quibbles with you-name-it, coaches, opponents, team mates, referees and fans. Till today, I dont think he's rather welcomed in the SLeague. He played in the Indonesian and Malaysia League, which not many Singaporeans would do.

Then why is he a motivator to me? Actually, I like his style of playing and his character. He speaks his mind, which often gets him into trouble. His talent is unquestionable, but its his determination that stands out. I think no one in the league can reach his level of determination to win every ball and every game. He doesn't give a shit about the press, he just want to play soccer. Everyone takes him as a bad boy, but he just carry on strutting his stuff. Thats what I like about him, determined to do what he wants, and not get carried away or affected by the surroundings.

One is a model to lead your life, the other a model on the sporting front.

"The acheivement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it."

Sunday, July 20 { 4:26 PM }

3 weeks have passed since I was posted into AFS. I can say time spent in there quite relax, much better than having to go outfield and stuff. haha, the people I meet in there are mostly from JCs. Some of them are nice and fun, but some are just too bookworm kind. haha, 3 weeks more and I'll be posted to base. Guess I'll most probably be posted to Tengah.

Saturday, July 5 { 7:15 AM }

Thursday, June 19 { 11:00 PM }

Apparently the Air Force called yesterday and told me my name has been striked off cause of my medical status. Well, I ain't disappointed or whatever, just that now I've got no clue where I'll be posted to. Anyway the posting will be tml morning at 10am.

Had been down with flu, cough and fever lately, think its the flu bug going around. Really hope to recover before I report to my new unit on Monday. To speak of which, time really flies, its been almost 2 weeks since I POC-ed, I got no idea what I did for these period of time out man. Haha. TO think that I stil have 2 more years of NS Life to go through really dont feel good man. But whatever it is still have to go through so yeah, so be it.

Had been jogging a lot lately at night if I'm home. It feels good to be able to sweat it out, although I have to half hobble, half jog but I really miss those time on court. I sat and watched people played basketball and volleyball just now at my area, didnt know it's so happening over here.

I have to keep telling myself this, that I'LL BE BACK!

Monday, June 16 { 10:37 PM }

Yeah, so I finally passed out. On the last day, we had to decide who's gonna do guard duty on the 18th as the slot was vacant. So slowly everyone started eliminating themselves, some did guard duty before, some on Att B and C while some claimed they have medical appts on the day of duty. It was down to 4, and I was one of them. It was at this point of time when the relationship and rapport you built with the rest of the platoon for the past 7 weeks come into play. We had to stand back facing the platoon and the platoon will line up behind the person whom they want to vote for duty. In the end 2 stood behind me, but they were kinda my good friends in the platoon and they explained that they did not wanna offend the other 2 who had long queues behind them, and since they saw there was no one behind me so they just stood there. Haha, was kinda relieved that I managed to "escape" from all these, including grenade. haha

Well, update on my knees, suspected ACL tear for both. I dono how to deal with this man, just wanna go for the surgeries and recover, then see where it takes me. Still had been going down for TW training, saw them playin 5on5 and friendlies. Naturally I felt devasted when I can only sit and watch them move around, jump and play. I'm still oonly 21, its bad and wasted that I get all these injuries when I've yet to reach the peak of bball life. Yet it may be a good thing that I've got time on my side for me to make a comeback. I choose to believe in the latter, I wanna compete again.

For the first time last night, I watched an Euro08 match fully. Was watching the Czech Republic and Turkey match. Czech took a 2-0 lead with 15 minutes left and I was closing my other windows to switch off com and go to sleep, then Turkey scored. So yeah I stayed on to see if there'll be anymore drama, and wth, they score twice in the last 3 minutes and won3-2. I think its pretty incredible and I feel for the Czech players especially Petr Cech man.
So I went to bed and woke up a mere 3 hours later to watch NBA Finals Game 5, Lakers won and bring the series back to BOSTON. I hope Lakers can also create miracle and overturn the series man.

Will be heading down to Air Force for medical tml, damn far but still, have to go. -____-

Sunday, June 8 { 10:56 AM }

Sunday, June 1 { 3:18 PM }

Tong Whye 2008

Met up with Val, Xiao4, Alan, WaiMing and QiXiang on Saturday night. The 6 of us used to be best of buddies and ball mates. But it had been a long long time since we last went out together. A few times we went without Waiming, but on Saturday he came along. To my surprise, he isn't as fat as ppl make him out to be. I always hear ppl say how much weight he put on and stuff, but in truth, he's still quite the same, with the same face and jovial style, just that he has commitments now. Whatever it is, it really feels great to be out with them again. I read Val's blog and I agree with him that memories our group have are really unforgettable. I just hope the 6 of us can stay in contact still, even though not as often, but an outing like this one occassionally to catch up really reminds me that I still have this bunch of great buddies. :D

Ytd I wenta club for the first time. At the arena, its not really a club, it has a dance floor and live band as well. A mixture of both I guess. So Tong Whye had a table as it was Pathman's birthday. We opened a cannon which cost $775 after discount. I thought clubbing sucks and I hate the dance floor. Haha, ytd was fun really, danced a lot with gou gou as he's like the only one single with me there. I thought I was kinda Seh but luckily I still managed to hold out. Pathman said somethings to us like we're talented and we should believe in ourselves and play together again, really can spur me on the work my way back man. Anyway, really had a great time last night, so I guess I wont mind going clubbing in future!

Will be booking in in about 2 hours time, 1 more book out and pass out. Shiok! :D

Thursday, April 24 { 10:12 PM }

No idea what's my mood now man. Hard to describe my mood the night before I enlist. I will say, I'm 50% excited, 30% Sian-ed, 10% glad and 10% worried. Haha, contradictive right. I spent the day before enlistment at Wei Tai's Cafe in Thomson. I thought the strudel there really great. And of course the company of Gou, JQ and Joe made it better. Once again, thanks a lot to Wei Tai the past few days, helping me cope with my injury and making me feel better all these while. And Joe, for always checking out for any latest development in my injury and offering me the bags and guards for me to bring into enlistment.

Enlistment, the mark when boys become man. haha I guess I'll have to start planning and worrying for my future from tml onwards.

Good luck to those having exams, JQ and SS. And all the best to TW for the upcoming matches. I'll be there if I can. Jia you. :D

Monday, April 21 { 1:50 AM }

Today, 20th April 2008.

Last year March, first game of B Division. I laid there, screamed in pain while clutching my left knee. I knew its bad by the way I twisted it. I knew how important knees are to a basketballer. I told myself, by hook or by crook, I have to work my way back.

Since that fateful day, I worked hard. Before POLITE, IVP, NBL A Division with TW, I attended trainings, I ran on my own around my neighbourhood when there's no training. What I believed was, for all that I lose out in my speed and jumping ability, I make up with my desire, determination, will, energy and effort to win games.

From March last year till today, I played for Nanyang, we clinched the Boon Lay Cup. I played for NP. And now, I made my debut for TW 2 weeks ago. My knee was holding up well, giving way occassionally but I always bounced back, cause I believe I can if i want to.

Today, 20th April 2008. A little different. I laid there, clutched my right knee, but i kept silent. I tried to recall what happened last year, how bad that was. I knew this time, it isn't as bad, but still, I really dont feel good at all. This question kept popping, "What happen if both my knees are gone?" Previously, I can still penetrate through the left with my strong right knee. Now?

I think I'm feeling really, really lost. I'm not feeling terrible, probably because of my team mates. Wei Tai drove me to the hospital, Joe bought food for me after going home. Wasn't particularly close to both of them, but their gestures really touched me greatly. They kept me company till 1am. More so when they have to work the next morning, especially Joe who has to wake up at 5.30 to teach. You guys really made me feel better. Not forgetting my other mates who text me. THanks. Anyway, if you're interested, the diagnosis, a torn meniscus.

Suddenly I really dont know what to do, what to say, what to think. I'm enlisting on Friday. 4 more days. Sigh, I just feel damn lost..................

today, 20th April.


FUCK.

Saturday, April 12 { 12:35 AM }

For the past 2 Fridays, I had been going out for good food! This is all I need before I enlist cause I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Last Friday, Jin Quan, Gou Gou, Hsiao Ling, Shi Shi and me headed to Yum CHa for Dim Sum. ALthough it was pretty good, we ate too much and were super full. We headed to IKEA for some shopping before attending training. Then Jin Quan, Shi Shi, Hsiao Ling and me went to the airport to fetch JJ back from HongKong. Headed back to Jin Quan's place for texas. Hsiao Ling, Shi Shi and I never play cause weren't really that close with the ppl there, but we kap with Jin QUan and he won over a hundred bucks. hahah

Just hours ago, Jin QUan, Shi SHi and I went to town for Sushi Tei! It was really good I feel, the soups and the Udon and the Golden Roll were certainly great feast. haha then JQ went for dental while Shi Shi and I went to Taka and Wisma to shop! Thought of getting a shirt but in the end didn't. Good la, at least I saved! haha then we went back for training and after that I went to meet Sophia, Eileen and Joan! It's Sophia's birthday today so it was sorta a gathering for us. Haha, very nice to talk to them again, the usual mj khakis and my great friends. haha.

So Sophia, if you're reading, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I didnt forget bout it this year okay! :D

Thursday, April 3 { 12:43 PM }

Was packing my room, and I found an empty CD. Sorry mates, nothing naughty inside. haha, but pictures taken some time back and think i saved it in a disc as backup. Gonna post up some here. :D And of course, some cant be posted, not nice to the other party. haha

Saturday, March 29 { 11:07 AM }

Had a friendly last night against RP. A game to build on our defense and our team play I guess. Not surprisingly, I was used sparingly. But I'm fine with that now man, really. Just sticking around with my team mates is enjoyable enough for me. :)

After friendly we wenta eat, intial thoughts was chong pang since its pretty nearby, but because of some damn songs in jin quan's car, we missed the exit of expressway several times. Okay maybe its not the song, maybe its the driver and our conversation! hahaha

So we ended up in Farmart for some stingray, sotong, LALA and chix wings. I think its pretty okay la the food, just that the portion looks big but not big. As in I think they smashed the stingray till flat and serve and make it look big. The sotongs, like more onions than sotongs. Lala, the serving looks like a lot but mostly are the shells and the chicken there should be real skinny la. But again, it was still fun there with Jin quan, Gou gou and Jin Feng.

We had a mj session after that, Hsiao Ling joined us. We spent like 3 hours plus on 1 pot. haha, cause we were dilly dallying i guess. Jin quan is the big winner, but he sacrifaced his time to sleep and study for that. Worth it right? haha


Brother, sometimes its good to leave things to fate. If fate doesnt allow a couple to be together, no matter how much they are in love with 1 another, they might still not be happy together. Move on man, and if fate allows, it will come back to you. If not, I'm sure you can find someone better. Dont let yourself be stucked and be miserable.
We can definitely live without them man! :D

Talking about that, I woke up dreaming about her, with him. Good good good. haha

S league anyone?

Monday, March 24 { 7:32 PM }

After my previous post, I'd been getting words of advice, or perhaps sentiments from my friends. Don't worry man, its been so long and I'm still standing strong. Just that the hard fact is sinking in, and I feel I've not done enough.

I started this blog like 4 or 5 years ago. I've had relationships during this period of time, and I believe I've nv blogged anything that personal in this length, till this extend. One of my ex-partner used to grumble about why I never mention her in my blog, well, heres the answer.

To me, I feel that I have many friends whom I can joke around and start conversations with. TO find a friend whom I can share all my ups and downs with, I believe theres still no one yet. Its not that my friends around me aint nice, they are terrific ppl and great friends and brothers to me. But i guess you ppl understand, that maybe this little side of yourself you only feel comfortable sharing with this guy, while you feel more at ease talking about other stuff with another. Frankly speaking, too many of them will in turn tell another 1 and another 1, which probably explains why I rather keep to myself.

So what about blogging? I can blog whatever I want right? Why dont I blog about relationships? Oh well, to my ex-partner, I dont do that because I rather keep that part of OUR lives to OURSELVES instead of doing the unnecessary of sharing it with the rest.

I've got absolutely no idea why I'm blogging about all these nowadays. I'm not getting emo or whatever, just that after 2 years, I feel I need an outlet, a place where I can voice my views, and gain comments from my friends, to perhaps know at least, you people feel me.

To those who presume that I'm still crazily in love over who I mentioned in the last post, I'm not surprised. I myself thought that I'm still crazy over her. But no, I'm just gutted by the way the relationship ended, which I will nv bring myself to believe she possesses this kinda character.

I hope you stay attached forever, cause I'm still harbouring hope that should 1 day you're single again, you might just feel lonely and reply to the countless msges which you'd deleted, with or without reading in the past 2 years.

Perhaps I just wanna be given a chance....



A freaking chance to get back at you.

I dont know man.

Twirled.

"When facing difficulties, do not become bitter...
Instead, become BETTER!"

Thanks bro.

Saturday, March 22 { 8:29 PM }

2nd post of the day. Urge to blog.
A message to you.

Ironic it may be, 1st time in 2 years, I clicked on favourites --> blogs --> _ _n.
I started reading the posts, good thing there were no pictures. But I'm numb to the pictures from friendster, this time round, your words really blown me apart.

To be frank, I dont know why I'm still waiting for your reply, I dont know why I'm still messaging you, I dont know why I still hope for something from you . . . and I dont know why I still call you to make sure you did not change number.

I sat alone at home in front of the computer and started reading your blog. Anonymously I guess you still did mention about me. I'm happy for you how you're in a blissful r/s now. But I just shook my head repeatedly as I scroll down.

Why did things between us ended up like this? So many things just flash through my mind. Right up from the beginning. I'm sure you will never read this, thats why I'm gonna post it right here, plainly for remembrance.

1. The first time we "met up". Wasnt really a proper meet up, just a meal at the place you were working, we had LJS, it was sucha surprise we managed to hit it off so well that it seemed we knew each other so long ago. Remember?

2. The photo we took in the cab on our way to Cine after my 3on3 tournament. It was one of the most beautiful picture I'd ever taken. Truth is, I tore that pic in a rage that night when things happened. Regretted. Remember?

3. The day you got jealous when I was joking around with a lady in your presense. You were working but I was over the other side talking to this lady. You were supposed to accompany me to my match after work and you refused to because you were jealous. That lady turned out to be my aunty. Remember?

4. The Claypot rice we always have after my match, and how you tell me stories from there. Remember?

5. Marina Square, our favourite hangout. Remember?

6. Meeting you after your classes and hunting around for good food in kallang, Paya Lebar, Parkway Mall and so many other places. Remember?

7. Changi Airport, Night Safari. Pictures speak a thousand words. Remember?

8. Fort Minor, yours and mine, only back then. Remember?

9. Piggyback you back to home after my matches. Remember?

10. Kenji Arai. Your favourite. How you took time out and travel the distance just to sit there with me for 2 hours watching something that I guess you were least interested in. Thank you.

11. The only time I had the chance to cook something for you when my parents were away. How I refused your entry into the kitchen, how we shared the food while watching tv. Beautiful aint it? :)

12. Your Birthday. Picnic with all your favourite food. HB eggs, Twix, VanHouston, Strawberries. You cried in the lift when you got to know about the surprise planned at HF. That view, that look in your face, that atmosphere.

You utted, " I want to stick to you forever".

Well, its amazing to me how so many things can happen within a short span of time of like just 4 months. Its even more amazing to me how difficult the aftermath proves to be.

Upon reading your blog, I know fully well what you want, what you need. There are just a few things i want you to know.

These 2 years, life has been good for me. Everything is so fine for me as long as I'm not in places that we once had unforgettable memories. People always say Sg is so small, and its so small that I nv bump into you anywhere in these 2 years. Sometimes how i wish I'll see you somewhere in town, on the streets, near your area, just somewhere, anywhere. But at the same time, I'm afraid to see you, to face you.

Its not that I wanna get back with you, it nv crossed my mind. Perhaps I believe you can be a terrific friend to me, 1 that I can talk to and to share.

Now I know, I may well be the annoying or the nuisance that had been bugging you for so long. I give you my word, this will be the last. I've said all that I wanna say, or perhaps even much more in these 2 years. Fate doesnt allow us to be together and also not to on talking terms.

I accept that fate, and i accept defeat. Haha, and guess what, I was playing my MP3 in shuffle mode, Where'd It Go? came up. Our favourite song, remember?
A great setting to end this post.

Seriously, I hope you will live well for the rest of your life.

"I want to stick to you forever"

Well, I guess..

Our story ends here, forever.

{ 8:03 PM }

I've learnt to take things easy.
I've learnt to look on the brighter side of life.
I've learnt to accept facts and not hide from them.



Since I started out competitively in basketball, things had been going rather smoothly for me. Coaches trust me, players look up to me, I had so much believe in myself.
Now that I got injured, I can't play like how I used to play. I kept pushing myself in training, with the belief that hard work will pay off and will warrant me a place in the team for NBL. And yes, well done, I got what I wanted, a place in the team, just that.
Its true that when one achieves what he wants, he will ask for more. All I asked for was a place in the team, upon securing that, I'm looking at gaining more minutes on court. But i know that my performance doesnt prove that I deserve more minutes than any of them.



"The coach plays me only for that few minutes"
"My knee is restricting me"
"I cant play under him"



Fucking excuses. My mind was nv in the game.


I accept the fact that I will never make an impact in this year's NBL. Whether I get to play or not, I will be bothered, but I will not be too hard up on myself even if I get benched. Its not that my competitive edge is gone, its just that I know how much hard work I put in, I will not reach the standard of NBL this season.


What keeps me going and working hard in training are my team mates. Little gestures meant a lot to me. I appreciate Kendy's and Joe's effort in talking to me about my game so that I can get back to how I used to be. "You have to shoot more, leave the rebounding to me", "You know you not taking enough shots bro". Yeah I know, I want to do more, but sometimes its simply mind over body man.

Then there's Pathman. In trainings or games, he will come up to me and say things like, "Come on Siew Mai, you can do it", "Play your usual game". I appreciate the support he gives me, more so since he's that well-known a player and that he's humble about that.

Of course, my brothers as well, Yew Seng, Dog and Jin Quan. Always talking to me about my game when need to and covering me during games when they know I cant deal with some parts of the game. Thanks so much man. And of course, thanks for driving me to and from training ah Jin Quan. :D


Whatever it is, this year's NBL will not be the season I'm going to look forward and excel in. I will only be available for 3 matches, and after that I will be enlisted. I can be benched for that entire 3 games, very likely, but it doesnt matter, cause I will be back for more after 2 years.



Stay tuned.

Friday, February 29 { 6:30 PM }

Alrighty. Had been pretty busy with work lately. Working everyday from 830am - 6pm at MOE. Xiao 4 is there too although we are from different departments, we still get to see each other if i sit up straight and he turns his head 45 deg. haha.
Had been sticking around xiao 4 since we entered poly in year 2004. We went to school together, worked for ACP together, basketball together and now in MOE together. Although we might not be able to enlist at the same time, I'm sure there'll still be many togethers in future since we both have almost identical aspirations.
Although I always KP you being late and slow when you eat and so many negatives that you have, I still think you have lotsa plus points. haha. You'd been a very good friend to me I guess, perhaps 1 of the only guys that I can call to simply chat or talk to on the phone.
23rd Feb was your birthday celebration with HuiLin and trust me, of all the 60 odd ppl there, I believe all of them are envious about you and HL. I'm really happy for you that you'd found HL (although OCCASSIONALLY the letters W.O.N.G will come out from my mouth, but you know its more of teasing right) haha. Remember to let me be the Best Man on your big day. haha
Whatever it is, you'd been a very good buddy of mine, and i apologise if you do feel that i bullied you at times. :D

Saturday, February 16 { 12:13 AM }

Thursday, January 17 { 11:06 AM }

Okay so finally Im blogging again!
Apparently my previous post did not show, and i cant remember what i posted already so nvm. haha

Had been busy with work lately. Going to the office, to several schools like EverGreen Primary, NorthBrooks Sec and Tanjong Katong Girls to teach. TKGS was not easy as its damn far, all the way in the east and i dont really enjoy teaching this school, maybe because they had already learnt what i'm supposed to teach. Haha, whatever the case, hopefully i will get Hong Wen school starting next week cause the students there are nice and obedient!

Went to China with Tong Whye from 27th December 2006 till 2nd January. Especially grateful as im injured and yet they allowed and paid for me to go when I hadnt even played a single game for them before.
I love the weather there, always around 10deg cel or lower. And of course we had lots of fun there.
I roomed with Duck for our first hotel and have to say he's a nice guy. Then roomed with Zheng Long and Alan in the second hotel. Alan, I knew him way back before this trip so theres no problem getting along. And to my surprise, Zheng Long was friendly as well.
I hanged out a lot with Yew Seng, Gou Gou and Jin Quan during this trip and think we can clique pretty well. And of course not forgetting my good mates Jin Jian and Ming.
It was great fun la, a great team bonding experience for a new comer like me. Still remember the night when Zheng Long, Kendy, Pathman, Joe, Gou Gou, Yew Seng and me stayed in a room and chatted for hours. Haha, got to know so much more about them and I can say I didnt regret coming to this club!

About my injury, its getting better. And im contemplating not going for operations as i heard after op my leg will not have the strength that i used to have. So i might not want to risk not being able to jump anymore. Shall see how.

Will be enlisting on the 25th April. Say fast not fast, say slow not slow, the only regret being i wil not be able to compete for Tong Whye in this year's Lan Zhong again.

Till next time. :D

Friday, November 9 { 8:47 PM }

Hello People! Im finally blogging again.

Anyway I had been really busy lately working almost everyday at EverGreen primary. Although I have to wake up everyday to see Xiao4's face( haha kiddin! you're nice.), but I do really like the school and facing different students all the time. Some are just so adorable but some are just so annoying that made me yelled at them. But overall, I can say i really like teaching kids and so im even more determined to make it into NIE when i'm done with army.

Talking about army, they made me take leave, went down to cmpb early in the morning and show them that piece of doctor's memo when i had already faxed it to them. Super irritated but as my dad says, thats the way it is cause army is always cocked up. Well, my next appointment with them is 7th January 2008, as im waiting my MRI scan with NUH.

And now about my knee, for those who still have got no idea, i hurt it again. It sorta got better and I was actually starting to play normally again when the "tragedy" struck while i was playing in YTCC. Didnt wear my knee strap that day and i got injured. Kinda fed up with myself. The day before I was informed that I will be allowed to play for Tong Whye in an upcoming tournament in China. Then that happened. Super frustrating and wrong timing. Maybe it was fated because something worse might happen in China? Well, i dont know if it can get any worse when i felt the same way the first time i injured my knee now. It swelled and had trouble walking again. Seriously hate this feeling now when I even had to sit to shower. Felt so freakin paralysed.

I couldnt resist the urge anymore and wenta ball this morning. Again I felt damn pissed when i felt thinking i could have been in that list being faxed to China with me playing. Nevertheless, i thought i enjoyed myself thoroughly in the morning, feeling the ball again and was with good company.

Thereafter went to Sim Lim to check PSP out. Ran high and low but didnt get 1 in the end. Luckily had my friend around if not i guess i will be so fed up. haha thanks! Might be going there again tml to get 1. Really tempted but its kinda ex right now. Ahhhhh and talking about money, i dont seem to be getting my pays eh. pek chek.

Time flies man. Val and Alan are already enlisted, and before you know it, ming would have been enlisted and we ORD-ed. To think that we were still hanging out in our Unity cafeteria and Ytcc in the past. Haha.. do miss those times even though i've made many more friends since then. We'll still be brothers just like the past man.

Adios.

Friday, October 19 { 1:41 AM }

Tonight I saw no determination, no will, no spirits, nothing to associate with a sportsman at all, much less 1 of Ngee Ann Polytechnic.
It happened on the one chance i got to coach you guys, and it may well be the last.
I think all of you tried, but not enough.
I'm shocked much like all of you, but i've got someone else to answer to.
I was wrong i supposed in some of the moves i made, but nothing seemed to go right.

The only thing i can do now, move on and take it as a learning experience?


And oh yeah, the diagnosis was out on wednesday. My ACL and Menicus were torn. Will go for Op once im enlisted.

Suddenly so sick of basketball, so feel like working everyday and slack at night.
But its not gonna be the way things will be.

Whatever...

Thursday, October 11 { 3:27 PM }

Suddenly has this feel to blog about my friends.

Have this bunch of friends that had been sticking around for quite a while already. Of course the one that I met way back in sec 1 was Val. Then theres WaiMing, also from unity but 2 years our junior. Qixiang, Alan and Xiao4, we met through basketball.
Although we may not go out as often as before, or we dont talk as much as last time, but still i think you guys are what i can call brothers. Whenever ppl ask me about my friends I will tell them about this gang of 6 that I have.
Think slowly 1 by 1 we'll be going into army or working, but basketball is still gonna hold us together man. :D

Then i met more friends in Poly. Almost the everyone in the basketball team are nice ppl, girls team included. But got to know bear, prawn and JJ better. Ppl always label us as the mahjong gang or mahjongs siaos, but actually our lives dont only revolve around mahjong man. We hang out a lot, to eat, to play, to talk, movie, slack, basketball outings, supporting each others' matches.

Although this 2 groups of friends are relatively different, but they are all really nice ppl. With the gang of 6 we can be crazy as hell, doing stupid things like disturbing couples making out in their car at upper seletar and doing funny things like someone posing as a prostitute in geylang. haha.. with bear, prawn and JJ, there are always lots of laughters around, and sometimes we can talk serious as well. And i think we'd moved our friendship to another stage whereby we can sorta know what one another's thinking, if you get what i mean. haha

Of course there are others that im relatively close with like Jamie, Denise, Dong, the Np team and some that i might have missed out. I also have friends that I got to know from basketball. Many of them are nice people and I know will stand up for me should anything happens.

Then there's this final group of friends whom i call the superficial ones. Honestly i hate them. Individually I thought they sucked and failed terribly as a human being. Some are so fucked up that I really cant be bothered. Normally I will just avoid these friends but sometimes I will think that if they dont piss me off at least we still can be on talking terms or something. But come on, a leopard nv changes its spots, something that proved to be so true, I'm sure denise agrees with me right?! :D

Anyway thats about it, Val's enlisting on Monday and hopefully your knee is fine. Np mates are all starting school so no more late nights. So its work for me SOON!